The Stuff

Sometimes we struggle with a lot of …. Stuff.

The truth is – everybody faces … stuff.  No one is exempt.  It doesn’t matter how much money you have, how great your job is, how fantastic your family is, how often you go to church, or even how much you pray – stuff is going to happen.

The challenge for the believer is, even when we are struggling through our stuff, we are called, maybe even obligated, to represent Christ well.

I think the world is looking for something different.  Or better yet, some-one different.

I don’t think they are looking for someone to always be upbeat or continually happy.  That seems … fake.

No, I think they are looking for someone to simply be … real.  But real in this way: Someone who acknowledges the “stuff” but is not controlled by it.  Someone who is not derailed by the “stuff” but rather sees the stuff for what it is, just … stuff.  Someone who can see through the stuff to something greater.  Someone who wrestles with the idea that sometimes purpose can be found in the midst of … the stuff.  Someone who can face the “stuff” but still have peace … and hope.

Is it possible that the “stuff” is actually an opportunity? Is it possible that going through “stuff” with faith, hope and peace actually provides the best possible way for us to represent Christ well? Could it be that this is the call of God for us?

Perhaps the Apostle Peter meant something like this when he said, “Always be prepared to give an answer to everyone who asks you to give the reason for the hope that you have. But do this with gentleness and respect” (1 Peter 3:15).

So today I pray that the “stuff” would be an opportunity for the calling, rather than the stuff derailing or pulling against the calling.  I pray that we won’t be overwhelmed nor dismayed by … the stuff.  Rather, that the “stuff” would be a launching pad for the calling. I pray that peace, hope and even joy, would be found in the midst of the stuff because recognition of the temporal nature and the true purposes of the “stuff” resides in our hearts. I recognize that it is difficult, maybe even impossible, to walk in the calling when we’re being suffocated by …. The stuff.  And THAT my friend and my God, is why we need Your Spirit, Your strength, Your Presence, Your Reality … today.  So that’s what I’m asking for Lord: Help us to walk in the Calling in the midst of the Stuff. For Your glory and honor may we represent You well today, by the power of Your Spirit – Amen.

I’ve Fallen – But I’m Getting Back Up!

Many times when we look at our history, the ups and downs, the ins and outs, the mistakes and successes, it can be easy to beat ourselves up.  And truthfully, maybe we should beat ourselves up from time to time.  But, the wisest man who ever lived once made this astounding statement, He said “The godly (good or righteous) may fall seven times, but they will get up again. But one disaster is enough to overthrow the wicked” (Proverbs 24:16).

There are two things I want to say about this verse …and about you.  First, it seems clear that the real issue is NOT about never falling. Never falling only makes one self-righteous, not godly-righteous.  Never falling makes one arrogant and haughty, not humble and meek.  Never falling can make a person self-centered, and prideful rather than others-centered. Never falling does not make one good, righteous, or godly.

Surprised?

No, the truth is, for the good man, stuff happens. Stuff knocks him down. Stuff knocks the wind out of him. Stuff catches him by surprise. Stuff causes him or her to get discouraged, depressed or at the very least, off-track.

(Click here for Practical Steps when “Life” catches you by surprise)

Yes, sometimes a good person gets knocked down. But sometimes, he just falls down of his own volition.  Nobody pushed him there.  Nothing caught him by surprise.  No, sometimes decisions are made, intentional choices, mistakes, and as a result failure arrives.  Sometimes, a good man just … falls down.

Here’s the interesting thing, Solomon never told us how or why the good man falls.  He never discussed what caused it.  He simply said, “a good or righteous or godly man falls down seven times.” It appears that the source of the falling is irrelevant to the author.  Falling down because he was caught by surprise or falling down by bad choices.  The issue simply isn’t the falling down.

Possibly the most important piece of this verse is …

“HE GETS BACK UP AGAIN!”

It seems clear that Solomon was saying the thing that makes a person godly, righteous or good is the fact that they get back up. This is the piece that separates the men from the boys, as they say.  Getting back up.  Knocked down, but getting back up.  Falling down, getting back up.  Good people – drop the ball … and get back up.  Make bad decisions … and get back up.  Don’t plan appropriately … and get back up.  Get disappointed but … get back up. Question God … and get back up. Fail …and get back up.

knocked down2

Let’s be clear: this is Solomon’s description of a good person, a …Righteous person … a godly even. Seriously?

This roller coaster ride, this up and down, this battle, is not what I picture when I think of a righteous, godly man.  No, not at all.  I think of Moses, face glowing, holding the newly etched Ten Commandments.  I picture David slaying the giant Goliath.  I think of Elijah calling down fire from heaven.  These are depictions of righteous men …right?

The truth is that when you study the scriptures you will find every single man or woman that was greatly used by God fits the description found in Proverbs. Every single one of them dropped the ball, made mistakes, reacted poorly, made bad decisions, questioned God, or even defied God.  Every single one … Falling … and getting back up again.

This is what I know about you.  I know there have been times you have declared, “I just don’t really get it, I don’t know the next step or where to go or what to do.”  But, the key is …getting back up.  Yeah, I know you’ve been down. I know you’ve made mistakes. I know you’ve even experienced failure.  But, those things really aren’t the core issue.  The issue is, figuring out how important it is to simply … get back up again.

Sometimes when stuff happens and a person is knocked down it can bring them to a point of questioning their purpose, their abilities, and their hope. And sometimes falling, whether by our own volition or by the surprises of life, can cause us to even question God. Can I trust God?  Has God forgotten me?  Have I blown it so bad that I am permanently derailed?

But listen, there is something deep within you telling you, “I’ve just got to get back up …again.” I can picture God standing by your side right now, whispering in your ear, “you’re gonna make, you’re gonna be alright. You’re gonna get through.  I know because … I’ve seen this before.  I have watched you before.  I KNOW, yes I know, you will … pick yourself back up again!”

Here’s the second thing.  I am convinced that Solomon came to the conclusion that a person can’t really be “good” in the sense he is talking about unless they have fallen down a few times.  How can someone truly have compassion, understanding, forgiveness, grace, or mercy for others unless they have “been there?”  How can a person truly understand someone’s pain unless they’ve experienced some of their own?  How can someone empathize with another’s failure unless they have failed a few times themselves? A person who has fallen and has received the grace to get back up knows how to reach down and help others who have fallen.

This, my friend, is part of your great calling on this earth.  Embrace people.  Love people.  Give them compassion.  Feel their pain.  Where ever they are at that moment in life.  And help them … get back up.  You know what it means to battle, to struggle, to fail.  But, you also know what it means to get back up – sometimes out of your own strength, sometimes through a measure of faith, and sometimes by the sheer grace of God. So help them … help them get back up.

From my view, your gifts, your abilities, and your talents, though important and part of the call of God on your life, are not the most important thing.  There is no denying those are real and significant gifts.  You really are talented.  But, my friend, in my humble opinion, they are not what make you who you are.  What makes you a good person, a righteous person, a godly person is this: a good man falls down a few times, but he always gets back up.

The New Testament reiterates this concept.  In my opinion, the great call of God on your life embraces this verse, “He comforts us in all our affliction so that we will be able to comfort those who are in any affliction with the same comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God” (2 Cor 1:4).

So, get back up, righteous man or woman.  Get back up … and help others do the same.  Amen.

Click here for Practical Steps when “Life” catches you by surprise

Do’s & Don’ts When Life Hits You Hard.

Here is a quick list of some Do’s and Don’ts for you when multiple things hit you all at once like they just did a for “a friend”:

(1) Don’t fuss and complain. It helps nothing. In fact, it usually just raises your level of anxiety, frustration, pain, or whatever (BTW – sharing with a trusted friend or loved one who can encourage, guide, pray, etc. is different to me than fussing and complaining).

(2) Don’t play the victim. Everybody has junk that happens. Look around. Sure there are folks a lot better off but, there are tons of folks worse off. Both issues are irrelevant. They’re not running your race. You are. And, you’re not running their race.  Let it go.

(3) Don’t compare and especially don’t use Facebook as the measure of people’s lives or happiness.  Neither should you use their social media produced life to measure your own happiness. It should more appropriately be called “faux-book” because it’s not real life. You only see what others want you to see. Some folks only put positive out there. Some folks do nothing but point fingers, gripe and complain. IN either case – it’s fake, folks. It’s only one small part of the story. Doesn’t matter – what they have and do has nothing to do with you. [#2 & #3 really go together].

(4) Don’t overreact.

(5) Don’t get overwhelmed. Slow down – look at your situation. Break it down into bite sized pieces if needed. Handle what you can. Look and ask for help if needed.

(6) Do pick yourself up, brush yourself off and face reality. Yes,I know it can be overwhelming at times, especially when it all comes at once but, all you can do is … deal with it.

(Click for some Good News When You Fall)

(7) Do – learn from your mistakes. You have to evaluate. How did I get here? What part did I play that brought me to this current situation – or all of these situations? Sometimes you did nothing. But, you can still learn from your current situation by asking questions like: how do I avoid landing here again?

(8) Do make the necessary adjustments to handle your junk – maybe focus on one issue and challenge at a time.

(9) Move on with life. Your life wasn’t all sunshine and roses before, and it probably wasn’t all misery either (hopefully). Nor will it be either of those things going forward. Some things will get better and you’ll have reasons to rejoice. Other junk will happen and you’ll have reasons to be frustrated, discouraged, whatever. welcome to ….life. Deal with it. Embrace it. Live it. Love it.

(10) Embrace the positive! It is there. You might have to look for it but, it’s worth it. This is what brings life, hope, and joy.

I just starting writing and it came out as 10 nicely packaged points off the top of my head.  So, there it is. This is how my “friend” deals with it when multiple “life” things hit all at once.

Finally, you all should know that for me, trusting, believing and praying to God is my greatest asset, source of strength, and peace.

Hope this helps.

(Check out why Falling might be Good News)

Maybe Bono Had It Wrong

Contrary to U2’s famous song, I think you will find EXACTLY what you’re looking for.

The tendency to search for or interpret information in a way that confirms one’s preconceptions is known in Psychology as “confirmation bias.” It is the type of selective thinking whereby one tends to notice and look for what confirms one’s beliefs, while simultaneously ignoring or undervaluing the relevance of what contradicts them. We like to imagine that our beliefs are rational, logical, and objective. But, they are often based on paying attention only to the information that upholds our ideas while ignoring the information that challenges them. We read about, hear and see data and facts about any given topic but come to different conclusions because of our own preconceived ideas. We see this playing itself out all the time in various political, theological, and cultural arenas. But, the truth is confirmation bias even manifests itself within the minutia of our everyday relationships.

One of the biggest challenges in many marriages is that we are often looking through bad lenses. Much like a cheap pair of sunglasses causes us to see the whole world through a warped tint, the lenses we wear, the perceptions we have, skew and distort truth. sunglassesIf your perception is that your mate is uncaring or selfish then everything they say and do will be filtered through that lens. Suddenly your perceptions will be reinforced by what you see. The dirty socks they left on the floor in the room you just cleaned becomes “They don’t care about me!” when filtered through your lens. Soon it seems that everything they do confirms your previously held beliefs. So even though your spouse took out the trash, cleaned your car, and mowed the lawn, it’s the dirty socks that stand out and substantiates your view. If you’re not careful you can become fixated on this bad perception and it can completely destroy your relationship.

But, the flip side is also true. If your lens is that your spouse is caring and attentive with a servant’s heart, you will see all the things they do that reinforce that belief. Simultaneously you will also subconsciously minimize the things that detract from that perspective. It all depends on which lenses you are wearing.

This is true of all relationships, by the way. We have lenses through which we view our bosses, our employees, our co-workers, our team-mates, our pastors, our children, and our parents. In every case our preconceived ideas about that person will almost always be confirmed by what we see and hear. You will find what you’re looking for.

Maybe Jesus meant something like this when He said, “The lamp of the body is the eye. Therefore, when your eye is good, you are full of light. But when your eye is bad, your body also is full of darkness” (Lk. 11:34).

The good news is your perspective CAN change. We need to ask Holy Spirit to give us corrective lenses to replace our cheap, warped sunglasses. Jesus declared, “The Spirit of the Lord … has chosen me to bring … recovery of sight to the blind” (Luke 4:18). We are often blind to the truth. Sometimes it’s as simple as CHOOSING to see the good. Most of the time it’s right there in front of us, we just haven’t seen it.

So, I challenge you to a treasure hunt. I challenge you to try to catch your spouse, your child, your co-worker, your boss, doing something good, every day. Make a note of it. Acknowledge it. Tell them you noticed. Affirm and appreciate them. Look for the times when they are helpful, caring, or self-sacrificing. I’m convinced that when you intentionally try to see the good in someone else you WILL find it. And many times your relationship will almost instantaneously improve without the other person changing a thing because now it is the negative things that have taken a back seat.

Happy Hunting!

The Pressure’s Off Part 2

In April of 2015 I had the opportunity to share 2 important messages with the folks at Living Word Church in Cleveland, TN.

(The Pressure’s Off Part 2)

At one time or another I think all of us feel like maybe we’ve made one too many mistakes to really achieve our potential, our dream, our goals, or true success.

Fortunately … God never feels that way.

From God’s view, mistakes, or even failure, is not the end of the story. God’s perspective is one of hope.  Everybody falls. Everybody makes mistakes.  Everybody fails.  You can not let those things define you.  The issue is not whether you have fallen.  The issue is whether you get back up.  In fact, God anticipated a few falls along the way.  But, He declares “though the righteous fall seven times, they rise again” (Proverbs 24:16).

If you need hope and encouragement … if you need to be reminded that God has not given up on you, then this message is for you.

Enjoy!

The Pressure’s Off Part 2

We Sure Know How to Have Fun.

“We sure know how to have fun!”

It was another brilliantly crafted moment of sarcasm from one of the Gray boys that will be recounted anytime hiking lore is on the agenda.

Moments earlier the only thing that could be heard was the whipping wind, the constant patter of rain, and the chattering of teeth as the four of us huddled together in a three-man tent.  The tent had been thrown together as quickly as possible on an incline that caused about two inches of ice cold water to pool on one side of the tent – right where my sleeping bag lay.

We had taken a beautiful two-day hike into the Wind River Range, WY and spent one day relaxing, recuperating, and fishing a crystal clear mountain lake.  However, my dad, my two older brothers and I crawled out of our tents the next morning to discover a deceitful fog had settled into the valley and a cold drizzle through the night had soaked the landscape and all of our gear. The overcast sky broadcast its intentions for the day. We had a choice to make at this point.  We could hike back the same way we came in or stick with our original plan to hike up and over Flat Top Mountain.  Somebody said, “I think we can hike ABOVE the weather” (I won’t tell you who it was but, his initials are D.A.D.).  Probably not one of the smartest things one of us ever said.

So, up we went.  Lizard head Trail across Flat Top Mountain ascends to about 11,200 feet.  This particular mountain got its name because the top of it is … flat.  In fact, it’s flat for so long that when you hike across it you can forget you are on top of a mountain.  The temperatures dropped to the low thirties. Because we were above the tree line the gusts of wind had no obstacles to hinder them from cutting into our faces. Down-pouring freezing rain and sleet were our faithful companions the entire day.  The four of us exchanged our usual chatter for silence as we trudged along the trail.

Seven hours later I don’t know if I was in a determined zone or a hypothermic daze.  My head was pointed downward to avoid the sting of the sleet as I watched my feet slosh through the water covered trail.  I was feeling extremely sleepy and forcing my eyes to stay open as I marched along.  Suddenly I felt someone tug on my jacket, pulling me behind a huge boulder.  The others had decided we had gone far enough. We quickly set up a tent to shield us from the never-ending storm.  My hands were so cold that they felt like nubs at the ends of my arms.  No matter how hard I tried I could not move my fingers and I couldn’t pull off my gear.  Despite his own soaked clothes, cold and pain my oldest brother saw my predicament and stepped over to help.  He had to peel my jacket off for me as I stood there a little like a frozen mannequin. I was surprised by my own spontaneous, uncontrollable tears that began to flow down my face. Prior to that moment I didn’t realize how bad our situation was.

For the next sixteen hours we huddled together in that small tent attempting to get warm and escape the mountain’s antics.  It was then that my brother uttered those now famous words, “We sure know how to have fun!”

It was also in this moment that I realized the power of these words:

“It’s better to have a partner than go it alone. If one falls down, the other helps.

Two in a bed warm each other. Alone, you shiver all night.

By yourself you’re unprotected. With a friend you can face the worst. Can you round up a third? A three-stranded rope isn’t easily snapped” (Eccl. 4:9-12 Msg).

I like being independent.  Usually, I try to handle things on my own.  I don’t like being told what to do and I especially don’t like admitting that I need help.  When I walk into church on Sunday, or in the office through the week, I want people to think that I have everything under control and that I am always cool, calm and collected.

I want to be someone my kids can look up to, someone they respect, someone they can count on when they are in need, and someone they can go to for guidance.  Even my sweet wife, though she knows me better than anyone else – I want her to think I am a strong man who knows the answers and always knows the best decisions to make.

Independence.  Men tend to idolize independence.  Strong, independent, lone-ranger types garner our attention.  We are drawn to the ones who beat all the odds and rise to the top; the sole vigilante against the world of injustice; the singular superhero.  It’s the guys who don’t seem to need anyone else, who have the drive, perseverance and tenacity to push through regardless of the obstacles that we admire.  We eat up the stories of people like Steve Jobs, Muhammad Ali, and Warren Buffet.  We love movies with characters like Rocky Balboa, Pale Rider, or Superman.  Not only do we love those stories – we want to be that guy!

I didn’t realize how much trouble I was in that day.  I would have continued on that path headed for disaster if my brother had not stopped me. I was determined to keep on marching down the trail regardless.  I was in a zone.  The problem with the man who doesn’t think he needs anyone else is he usually doesn’t know when he’s headed for trouble.  God knows that without the companionship, strength, and encouragement of others we will be defeated.  My Dad said, “Looking back I’m glad we had that experience together. It makes you a stronger person.”

God never intended for us to go through this life alone.  He never intended for us to face the hardships, difficulties and circumstances of life by ourselves.  When God saw Adam alone was the first time in the history of the universe that He declared something was “not good.”

To ask for help, advice, or even an opinion is in a small way an admission of weakness.  Weakness is the last thing I want to be associated with.  But, this is exactly the position God wants to bring us to.  It’s only when we get real and admit our weakness that God can really show off.   It is in recognition of our weaknesses that we understand our desperate dependence on God. Our deficiencies prove our need  for the other members of the body of Christ.

The good news is that God already knows you don’t have it all together.  He declares, “My strength is made perfect in weakness!”   When you recognize this truth, there can only be one conclusion: “So now I am glad to boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ can work through me” (2 Cor 12:9 NLT).

Five Questions About Leadership

Recently I was asked five questions about leadership by a friend of mine who was putting together a presentation for her organization.

Hope you enjoy.

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1. What is one characteristic that you believe every leader should possess?

The most important characteristic a leader is: Integrity/trustworthiness. Skill, talent, or experience may launch a leader into the spotlight – but it will NOT keep them there. When people do not trust their leaders they will eventually no longer follow their leaders. Various leadership materials will list out different traits and characteristics that cause leadership success. And they’re good and contain good information. But, I’m telling you, without the integrity piece – the rest of it is worthless. Typically people buy into a person before they buy into a vision or a cause. If they don’t buy into the leader, the cause will fail. The only solution is to get a different leader. When I was working in sales one thing I learned was – people buy from people they trust. If they don’t trust you it doesn’t really matter how good the product is – they won’t by it.

2. What is one mistake you witness leaders making more frequently than others?

The number one mistake I have seen is autocratic leadership. When decision making rests on a single person the others, whether subordinates or not, feel devalued and unimportant. What’s interesting about this concept is that one doesn’t even have to be an autocratic leader to have this malady affect their leadership. Let me explain: if they generally collaborate and utilize group involvement in decision making, but just one time they make a decision without consulting others, it immediately makes those normally involved question their place and the respect they receive from the leader. When a leader consults, collaborates, involves others in decision making – others feel valued, respected, needed. Besides – having a group collaborate and brain storm almost always leads to better decision making.

Let me give you a paradigm, let’s talk about “Effective Decision Making Quotient” (I learned this concept from Stephen Covey): Let’s rank decision making on a scale of 1-10. 1 being a lousy decision, 10 being a perfect decision. Let’s also rank buy-in on a scale of 1-10. 1 being low buy-in from team members (including subordinates) 10 being high. If I make a perfect decision for my organization, by myself, and just tell team members the decision I’ve made – it will look something like this: I get a 10 for perfect decision, but I will only get about a 2 on buy-in (some will buy-in simply out of loyalty). 10 x 2= “20” on the Effective Decision Making Quotient.

Another scenario: let’s say a group of us collaborate on a decision, leaders, team members, employees, etc. As a result the decision itself may only rank as a 7 (there has to be some give, some compromise). But, because I have involved all the team members, the buy-in will rise to somewhere around an 8 (some still won’t buy-in because they didn’t get their way). That decision looks like this: 7 x 8 = “56” – a much higher Effective Decision Making Quotient. In this scenario, the decision itself may not be as great, but, the team is more energized, enthusiastic, vested in the outcome, valued, and will probably be more loyal to my organization and long term as a result. And, I’ve still got a really good decision on my hands. Plus, the more we collaborate, communicate, and learn to trust one another, the better decision making becomes.

So, really, which decision is better?  To top it off, research shows that the younger generation is much more interested in collaborative leadership than previous generations. So, if an organization is going to be effective and attract younger talent – they HAVE to move toward this model. Autocratic leadership, or even decision making = bad news.

3. What is the one behavior or trait that you have seen derail more leaders’ careers?

I feel like I really answered this in question number 1 & 2. But, let me add, that character and integrity include the idea that a leader is competent. Just having the characteristic of integrity doesn’t make one a good leader. People want to know that their leaders know what they’re doing too, that they are skilled at. experienced, and/or knowledgeable about whatever it is we are striving for. If I don’t know anything about food preparation, regardless of how much I know about profit and loss, I will probably not be a good restaurant manager. At the very least, I will not garner the respect of my employees, which greatly derails my ability as a leader.

4. What advice would you give someone going into a leadership position for the first time?

Advice: 1. NEVER STOP GROWING! Read. Go to seminars or conferences. Ask people smarter or more knowledgeable than you.  Get a mentor.  Whatever it is – never, never, never rest on your laurels. The better you are, the better the organization, your family, and everyone around you will be. The best investment you can make in an organization is an investment in your own personal growth.  Most importantly – learn people skills! My God – I can not emphasize this enough. No matter what you know about whatever it is you do – if you can not get along with people you will fail!  Mark my words. as John Maxwell says, “you have to get along to go along.” Having people skills will carry you farther than any expertise ever would. I have seen many a positional leader fail because they did not know how to work with and deal with … people, especially difficult people. Responses and reactions are huge. Word choice, demeanor, presentation. Most importantly – care, concern. Again, let me re-emphasize – when you view people as valuable, you will succeed. Which leads to a second word of wisdom: surround yourself with good people. People who are maybe smarter or better than you. Trust them. Believe in them. Collaborate with them. Rely on them.  Never assume you know more or always have better ideas than the next guy.

5. What are you doing to ensure you continue to grow and develop as a leader?

Personally – I am always reading a book. I rarely read fiction. Not all my books are on leadership. The books I read are often about other stuff like marriage, or my faith, or what-not. But, it is still growth. And, as I said, if I am growing – it will have an impact on my leadership, my organization, and those around me. In fact, I have found the books I read on Marriage and relationships are often times more effective for my leadership than many leadership books, at least concerning building relationships, learning communication and dealing with people. (Click here for some info about communication in marriage or listening skills )

Second, I frequently watch and listen to podcasts of leaders I respect.  Finally, I am constantly observing and evaluating how others speak, respond, interact, etc. – trying to learn from others.

I hope this helps anyone looking for some basics on developing leadership.

The DVR Saved our Marriage

I don’t know how we survived before DVR technology.

For all you youngsters out there, back in the day we actually had to … watch commercials!  Shocking and slightly unbelievable I know, but it’s true.  And, if we thought we were going to miss our favorite show we had to program our VCR’s ahead of time to record it. This task was fraught with difficulty.  And even if we had the technological prowess to figure it out at all, it would rarely catch the whole program.

Then, one glorious day, someone invented the DVR.

Press a couple buttons on the remote and presto, favorite program lodged into the mechanical memory banks forever, or until I delete it.

But the DVR had another unintended consequence. Picture the days before DVR. Husband and wife both come home from long, stressful days at work.  Husband wants to plop down in front of the TV to hide in his mental cave, zone out for a bit and de-stress.  Wifey wants to … share.  Oh yes. Every single detail of every conversation and every emotion she went through during the day.  Unending details of the lives of people husband has never met and doesn’t care to know.

Now, this might all seem fine.  I mean hey, they’re both just detoxing from their respective days in the way they are wired to do it. All well and good until you realize, wifey is unloading at the exact same time husband is trying to watch TV. Now, oh yes, now we have an issue.  Husband gets frustrated because wife talks over the TV and he is missing parts of his favorite TV program.  Suddenly he feels his wife doesn’t respect him or doesn’t care that he’s had a long day.

Continue reading “The DVR Saved our Marriage”